Depression
It is with me always;
It is the granite rock lodged within,
I have tried to assail it with pleas and tears
But it does not budge;
It is heavy and makes me crooked and twisted.
You will see it even should I smile,
Or forget for a second it is there;
You will feel its immensity and wonder,
How it came to be so monstrous and complete.
I devise plots and strategies to chip away
The cruelest, jagged edges; they never work;
Words and drugs and whisky soak inside:
It will not melt or relent.
I am crippled by its weight;
It casts shadows that I jump to see;
It is grey and does not flinch -
It will not leave me - it loathes me.
I cannot give the rock away,
Or leave it, or put it to one side;
It will not be ignored and cannot be smashed:
It is in my eyes;
You see it raging when my face is white.
Jan
posted by jan @ 12:41 PM
3 comments
The 
3 Comments:
The suffering of Sisyphus can have been no greater. This is a most powerful poem Janet.
Jan...my Second child born July 1964 is Janet Margaret...
She too from an early age in her teens suffered from serious depression ,often worse before menstruation and when life was not smooth running .
Perhaps I hope now there is more help and medication when one seeks it and I hope she does seek that help.
It is difficult to advise another on what,why,how,where and also hope ...but one always hopes, when one has been the woman who gave them life.....
Lois(Muse of the Sea) 13.8.06
This is such a evocative piece of writing. I could see and feel everything you've described. Maybe the waves of love and understanding will lap away at the rock until one day it has dissolved into pebbles, then sand, then air.
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