Costello Returns

SLAM! (The door blows open. the door blows shut) THAT was not my fault. It was the wind. Her name is Moraiah and she has been traveling with me. She’s great at opening and closing doors and is a real hoot in the middle of the night in a Scottish Castle when she starts practicing mOANing.

Bam! Bam! Splat! (Luggage drops all over the cloister floor.)

Oi Vey! I must either learn to pack lighter or take a permanent Bell Boy with me. Bell Boy. If one had one, I wonder, would he handle the book and the candle as well? Door bells? Silver bells? Hand bells? Cockle-shells? Why do they call someone who carries your suitcase a Bell Boy? Because my suitcases are so heavy they feel like Bar Bells? Would . . . No, better not go there.

Well! It is good to be back! (She sniffs the air cautiously.) It smells incredibly . . . quiet here. Indeed, things are beginning to sound just a little musty and, well, to tell you the truth . . . Monkish around here. I do hope you are not all going around looking at the ground with your hands tucked into your habit things. I left that cat Oreo in charge of shaking things up, I certainly hope she has not been dozing the entire time I’ve been gone.

Let’s see . . . who is here? All the usual suspects and a few new names. TRENDLE! (She exclaims so loudly that she has to slap her hand over her mouth.)

My Lady of the Ellwood, is it really you?! I have missed you so much, you just don’t know. (She quickly wipes her eyes on her sleeve.) I looked for you all over Faery and up and down behind the North Wind. Where have you been? You weren’t REALLY in Ohio were you? I see your beautiful photographs. You have caught Spring in the act of beginning. You are invisible when you are with that camera and even Spring doesn’t see you, but goes on about her crocus business and lets you photograph her very act of inception. Yes, it is you. No one else takes photographs like this. Welcome! Remind me to tell you later about the marshmallow roasts . . . I mean, morning devotionals.

Lets see, who has been up to what else? Seems to me when I left Believer had discovered something very strange going on at the bottom of a stair case . . . hadn’t someone seen a ghost or two? Where is that Ebony Wilde and what is for tea? Has Jane returned? What about Traveler? Where is Ana das Neves and her tales of circles? Ana! I saw stones like yours on my journey, but they were huge and standing on a headland whispering secrets. They had your markings! Which reminds me! Runes! I need a new set of Rune Stones, mine got lost when the tide turned too quickly . . . someone here makes them I believe . . .

It is DEFINITELY too quiet here! In one half hour there will be a party in the Alchemist’s Lair! I’ve brought back a whole suitcase full of the most splendid delicacies from all around the world, Swiss chocolate and tripple honied baklava from Greece, Portuguese wine and cheese - Serpa, Serra, Rabaçal, Azeitão . . . and delicious cherry Ginginha . . . only the beginning. Who belongs to that Beatle CD? Bring it! Someone must have smuggled a Karaoke machine in here! Hey, Megan can you sing Led Zeppelin?! Someone was playing the flute before I left, I remember hearing it . . . can you play Tull? Where is Anita Marie? She isn’t STILL in the cemetery is she? Someone find her and tell her to bring her guitar and . . .

Hellooooo Abbess. (She smiles sweetly.) I’m back!!

Costello!